The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
