Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize