I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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