I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
