If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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