my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize