You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize