This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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