2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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