Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
