you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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