May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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