Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
