I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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