I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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