It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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