im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
