drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
