We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
