Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
