I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
