I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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