Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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