Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
