He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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