I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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