Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ladies don't puke and tell
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize