i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
