I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
