I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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