I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
