I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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