i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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