I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
