so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
