remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
