So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I could make wine with my vomit
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
