Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
