4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
