drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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