you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize