with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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