In the future we'll all be gay
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
