Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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