Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Your dad touched me again.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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