24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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