i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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