shes about as inviting as chlamydia
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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