Im at strip club and am horny
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
