my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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