She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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