apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
