just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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