The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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