he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
