She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My feet surprised me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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