If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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