I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
