My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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