that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
