That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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