bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
