It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
