I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
one two three fourrrrnication!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
