He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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