fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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