How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
