You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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