awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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