I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
