Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
