she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
